Friday, September 24, 2010

My Confession...

I think that I am a pretty normal person (if there is such a thing!). I wake up everyday with a normal amount of self-confidence, am able to make it through an entire day having usually laughed and made the most of out the situations that I faced. I have my bad days where I cry, feel defeated and just want to crawl into bed. But thankfully, those days are far and in between.

My guess is that most of you can relate to me. Life doesn’t seem completely overwhelming everyday. You find moments of joy each day and you would say that you are an overall happy person. Does that sound about right?

Let’s stop and thank God for giving us that outlook on life, as there are many who suffer through deep depression, suicidal thoughts, and very dark days on a very regular basis.

But all of that aside, there are still things that I struggle with every single day. I have my own “hidden” struggles, as I am sure each one of you does. As I have been pursuing a closer relationship with my heavenly father, I have come to realize that the issues that I stuff inside everyday, that I let fester in my heart and mind, are really hidden sins.

Now, I am not saying that struggling is a sin. It’s part of life! But I do believe that when we let those struggles and self doubts go untouched and don’t work on dealing with them, we are giving Satan a huge foothold on our life.

I believe that our internal daily struggles (I’m talking about the struggles that are the same every day of the week, that have been the same for years) expose a place in our life where we are not living in the fullness of God’s love and purpose for our life, and expose areas of our hearts and minds where we have shut the door on God, and not allowed him to come in and clean them out and make them new again.

What I want to do, as a way of healing and exposing my issues, is share my struggles with you. I would love your prayer as I work to let God heal these places in my life. I would also like to encourage you to share your personal struggles with a friends, or small group or parents. I encourage this, because it is what the bible tells us to do:

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective. - James 5:16

I do believe that one of the greatest ways we can begin letting God work in these areas is to provide him the access to do so. I know I can’t do this without admitting that I’m struggling and having someone to hold me accountable to the healing process (and my mom, mother-in-law, husband, dad and friends read this blog, so I have a feeling a lot of people will be holding me accountable on these things!). So here goes:

My Daily Struggles (aka “Sins”) and what the bible has to tell me about them:

  • Body Image- I think that most women struggle with this. I personally never feel skinny enough, or pretty enough. My hair is too thin, my nose is crooked, my shoulders are too wide, but back end is too big, just to name a few! I fail to remember that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Yes, the bible actually says that about me!

Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.
1 Peter 3:3-4


For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.
Psalm 139:13-16

  • Gossip – People say that Gossip is just what women do. What a terrible characteristic that we have taken upon our gender! I admit that I participate in this nasty little habit on an almost daily basis. It may be about a celebrity, or someone I used to know, or some jerk guy one of my friend’s is dealing with. It doesn’t matter if I know the person I am gossiping about or not, it doesn’t matter if they will ever hear it or not, God hears it… and it breaks his heart. Lord, help it break mine too.

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 
Ephesians 4: 29

  • Money – I have worried over money since I was a small girl. If I found something at the store that I liked and it was expensive, I would cry because I felt guilty about wanting something that was so expensive. Today is no different. I worry about saving enough, having enough to make ends meet, worrying about loosing my job and not being able to pay the bills. I used to worry about this every single day. The Lord and I are working really hard on this issue right now.

Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”
Hebrews 13:5


Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?
Matthew 6:25-26

· Lying – Oh, the hardest of all of them to admit! It just sounds so bad, and it is so bad! And I don’t even lie about big things, or important things. It seems to me that it’s always little, unimportant things that I lie about. Where I got my shoes, how much really weigh, how much something cost, sneaking a snack and not admitting it, I told you.. really stupid stuff! I couldn’t tell you why I do it, and I don’t do it that often, but enough that the Lord laid it on my heart, so that’s too much! 

Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who act faithfully are his delight. Proverbs 12:22


Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another.
Ephesians 4:25

My hope is that my confessions will help encourage you to ask the Lord what sins you struggle with on a daily basis. Or, if you see one of your daily sins in my list, that the verses that I posted will help encourage and direct you. I encourage you to print these verses out, or find verses that apply to your struggle and print those and put them on your mirror, or fridge, wherever you will look at it regularly.

“When I refused to confess my sin, my body wasted away, and I groaned all day long.
Day and night your hand of discipline was heavy on me. My strength evaporated like water in the summer heat.
Finally, I confessed all my sins to you and stopped trying to hide my guilt. I said to myself, “I will confess my rebellion to the Lord. And you forgave me! All my guilt is gone” – Psalm 32: 3-5


  1. Oh precious Angela, thank you for being authentic and vulnerable and inspiring. I want to be like you when I grow up. And you are SO beautiful!!! I cannot even begin to tell you or understand how you can't see it. But the extraordinary thing is that you are beautiful both inside and outside. I LOVE you and thank God for you everyday.

  2. Thank you for this beautiful, and inspiring post. This post was exactly what I needed right now, and I wanted you to know that you completely changed my day. I will be praying for you in your mission, and trying to begin my own transformation as well. Bless you and thank you again!!

  3. I am so glad that these words blessed you! God's timing is so cool, isnt it? I will be praying for you as well! Thank you so much for your prayers!

    Donna: You are so sweet! I love you too!