Why I've been such a terrible blogger lately

Oy.

It has been MONTHS since I have blogged consistently and I feel like I owe you all a little explination.

 

 

This little tater tot has had me worn out to the max!!!

Yes, Michael and I are expecting our first baby in April of 2012!

I am 13 weeks today (which means yes, I was pregnant when I wrote this blog and didn't even know it!)

I am finally starting to feel like my normal self and hopefully regular blogging (and cooking, my poor husband!) will commence shortly!

We feel so blessed to be the parents of this little peanut and couldn't be more excited for the future! For now, I am focusing on eating healthy, and giving this little baby everything it needs from momma!

This is how we announced it on our facebook page:

Yes, I did mess up when making the shirt, I wrote "2011"instead of "2012" oops!

An Epiphany

My husband and I have been married for over a 1 year and a half now. We are at the stage of our life where we are ready to take on children and parenting and are eager to start our little family.

As we are on this journey, things didn’t happen quite like I had planned(I can’t image why not :) ). I thought we would get pregnant the first month we tried and that everything would be just hunky dory. Well, surprise, it’s been multiple months, and still no baby.

I admit, I was crushed that first month when I realized we weren’t pregnant and that my “perfect plan” wasn’t coming to fruition.

My husband and I have been praying every night “Lord, bless us with a baby” or similar and have been crossing our fingers every month that I would get a positive test. While I do believe that God absolutely wants to grant us the desires of our heart and praying this way is what we are supposed to do bibically, I had an "ah-ha" moment today while praying this. 

While praying today, the Lord reminded me of a lesson I’ve had to learn before.

If you’ve read my about me section, you know that before I met my husband, the Lord had quietly urged me to stop dating and to focus on my relationship with Him and fixing some of my personal issues. The Lord showed me that I had some things I needed to work on personally and spiritually before I was ready to be a wife. I fought the Lord on this for awhile, but as soon as I gave up control, and let Him work in my life, He graciously brought Michael into my life and blessed me with the wonderful marriage we have today.

However, if I wouldn’t have let God mold and shape me during those months before I met Michael, I would not be prepared to be in a marriage relationship, or to be a good wife.

As I sat praying for a child today, I was reminded that maybe, I’m not done learning how to be a good wife; that God still has lessons he needs me to learn and areas to I need to grow in before I can take on the challenge of being a good wife AND a good mom.

Just as God urged me to give up my desire of a husband back then, maybe I need to give up my desire to be a mom right now, so that I can grow and learn in the areas where I’m not ready for motherhood.

I don’t know about you, but when I do have children, I want to be the best parent I can be. I want to be a godly influence in their life, an encourager, supporter, challenger and role model in their life. I truly believe that I cannot be any of those things if I don’t let God mold me into the person he needs me to be.

God doesn’t give you what you want, He gives you what you need. I want to be given what I need to be a good wife. I want to be the best wife I can possibly be for my husband. I want this so that I can bless my husband, and also, so that when I do have to take on the role as mom, I can embrace that full-heartedly without worrying that I am neglecting my role as my husband’s partner.

So today, my new prayer is that God would mold me into the person he wants me to be. That I would learn the lessons He needs me to learn so that I can be the best wife I can be, and when His timing is right, the best mom I can be.

Today, I am delaying my desire to be a mom, for the greater desire of being formed in the image of my Savoir and Creator.

“ I know the plans I have for you” declares the Lord “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” – Jeremiah 29:11

Madalyn Jane Fay - My new niece

 
I got to meet a very special little girl yesterday.

My niece, Madalyn, was born at 4:36 PM on May 27th.

She was 7 lbs 6 oz

19 inches long

perfectly healthy, and incredibly sweet

Kim did an AWESOME job during labor

and daddy is madly in love

We couldn't be more in love with this little girl!

Our Hearts are in China: Adoption

And anyone who welcomes a little child like this on my behalf is welcoming me.

-Matthew 18:5

In January of 1998, my life was drastically changed. It was in that month that my aunt returned from China with a new, beautifully sweet baby girl. Olivia Chase Xiao Ming was the most adorably sweet, curious and beautiful little thing I had ever seen. My family watched her every day while my aunt worked in the following years, and I absolutely fell in love with her.

Olivia and I - 1999

To this day, Olivia and I are more like sisters than cousins. She is now 15 years old, incredibly smart, athletic, and still as strikingly beautiful as she was 13 years ago when I first laid eyes on her. We still spend a lot of time together, and I treasure that time, as it brings us closer together and reminds me of what God laid on my heart all those years ago.

Olivia and I at my wedding (she was a bridesmaid) - 2010

As my aunt went through the adoption process, I was fascinated by the whole thing. I decided to have Chinese Adoption be the thesis of my big 9^th grade project (in my school district we did our big project as freshman, not seniors).

Through that process (learning about all the children in there are in orphanages in China (95% + girls), the lack of physical and emotional love they receive, the hard life that the girls that aren’t adopted face when they are too old for the orphanages, and the other huge challenges that face these kids), my heart changed.

I knew that someday, I wanted to adopt my very own little girl from China. I knew this wasn’t just a whim, but it was a desire that God specifically laid on my heart. I’ve never doubted that, and to this day, the pull is just as strong, if not stronger to adopt. I am so lucky to have met a man who wants to adopt and now, it is our desire.

Chinese adoptions are very expensive, upwards of $30,000.00. The adoption process is also very emotionally and physically draining. It takes about 3 years from beginning to end. There are a lot of stipulations that couples have to meet before they are approved to adopt, one of them being that each person in the couple must be at least 30 years old when they start the adoption process.

This means that we have a good 5 years before we can even start the process, which puts us out 8 years until we can hold our baby girl in our arms, in the best case scenario.

However, there are things that we can do today to get ready to welcome our little girl into our home.

1.)   

We are already saving for the huge expense of adopting. This gives us plenty of time to save up so that we can bring her home without having to go into debt to do so.

2.) 

We are continually lifting our daughter up in prayer (as we do for all our futures kids). While it is likely that she is not even born yet, we pray that she will be safe, happy, loved and protected until we get to meet her. That Jesus would be with her and wrap her in His love and bring her safely to us.That he would banish any feelings of abandonment, feeling unloved or unwanted.

3.) 

We trust God that He will provide financially and emotionally and guide us as we go through the adoption process. I believe that God laid this desire on our hearts and that He will guide us through the process, act on our behalf, and begin paving the way and clearing any obstacles before we even know about them.

One of my husband’s patients has two adopted children from China. We have loved hearing their story and testaments on adoption. On their last trip to China, they brought us this beautiful QiPao for our future daughter. Before they adopted their first child, they hung one of these in their home, as a reminder of the little life they were working so hard for. We have done this same thing.

Even though our little girl isn’t born yet, will live thousands of miles away for the first part of her life, and has no idea we want her so desperately, we already love her more than anything.

“Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.” - James 1: 27

Living in the Moment

"Somebody is in the hospital begging God for the opportunity you have right now. Step into your moment."  -TD Jakes

 

My husband found this quote yesterday, and it inspired me.

How much of life do we take for granted? How often do we forget to step into the moment and instead spend them longing for either the past or the future? God has really laid this concept on my heart the past few months. This must mean he is trying to teach me something! 

I realized a few months back, that I had spent most of my life wanting to be in my next stage of life. When I was single, I just wanted to be married, now that I’m married I want to be a mom. When I lived with my parents, I wanted my own apartment, now that I have an apartment, and I want to own my own home, ect, ect. The list goes on and on of things we once wanted, we got, and now we want the “next best thing”

How do I ever expect to be truly happy, to radiant the Lord’s joy for the rest of the world if I am not content with where He has placed me TODAY?

It’s easy to let all the circumstances surrounding us pull us away from living life to the fullest. My family is going through a really hard time right now, and I admit I have let that distract me from every other aspect of my wonderful life.

Everyone has heard it a million times, “count your blessings”. Easier said than done, right? How many of you stop each day to thank the Lord for your blessings? To thank Him for putting you where you are right now? You may quickly graze over a few of them in your evening prayers, if you are anything like me, but how often do you actually stop and think about everything we have to be thankful for?

There are millions of people all over the world who are dying, who are living at poverty levels that we cannot even comprehend, without food and water, yet we complain when we don’t get that new phone we wanted, or if our internet connection is too slow, or if the restaurant we go to gives us poor service.

I wanted to take a moment to make a list of things that I never remember to be thankful for. Take a moment to read through all of these things that we are blessed with everyday, that people all over the world are living without, maybe even create a list of your own.

My Thankful List

• A safe, reliable car
• A Mattress and a box spring
• a multitude of warm blankets
• a drawer full of socks and underwear
• a washing machine (or access to one somewhere) to wash my clothes clean
• a phone to keep in touch with the people I love
• a fully stocked kitchen – fridge, oven, microwave and sink
• kitchen cabinets that are FULL of healthy, life giving food
• clean drinking water that is filtered and won’t threaten my life
• shoes for my feet
• the fact that I don’t need to take any medicine on a daily basis
• I can praise and serve my Jesus whenever and wherever I want to
• A family that loves and supports me
• Friends I can lean on and trust in
• soap to wash my body and my hands when they are dirty
• Knives, plates, forks to eat and prepare my food on/with
• A safe place to call home that keeps out bugs, intruders and animals
• The ability to see, hear, speak and walk
• The ability to learn freely and unlimited access to knowledge
• Lungs that move in and out all day long J
• contact and glasses for my eyes so that I can see everyday
• Money in the bank, no matter how little, there is some there
• The ability to read and write
• A computer (or access to one) to use at my free will
• A copy of my very own Bible that I can read whenever I want
• A closet full of clothes to keep me warm and safe from the elements
• A mother-in-law who I love and get along with so well
• A job that I like and helps to pay the bills
• A church family – the ability to go to church
• a full head of hair that I can wash as often as I please
• Access to knowledge to discover my allergies and to correct them so I can feel healthy all the time
• Access to music to fill my heart and my mind
• The ability to raise as many children as we see fit, in the way we see fit
• The ability to type
• Electricity through my entire home and day
• Power to run my electronics
• Hot water
• Free time – to do whatever I want, to have fun and be me
• A personality that is uniquely mine
• A close relationship with Jesus
• Paper to write one, or print on
• Toothbrush and paste to clean my teeth and mouth
• Access to medicine when I need it
• Access to doctoral care, when I need it
• Health insurance to help cover medical costs when they arise
• Parents who love me and have always taken care of me and my family
• A Spouse who is faithful to me and love me with all their heart
• The ability to smile, on a daily basis, because I have things to smile about
• And the list goes on and on and on

Clearly this is just smattering of all the things I have to be thankful for, and I am sure that you can be thankful for most everything listed above as well.

So next time you get wrapped up in anger or frustration over the fact that the phone bill is $ 4.59 higher than you think it should be, or the fact that your spouse/roommate made a mess and didn’t clean it up and life’s not fair, stop and think about how fair life really is of us, and how incredibly lucky you are to have that moment.

You are not guaranteed the next moment in life, so enjoy the one you have RIGHT NOW!

"What I'm trying to do here is get you to relax, not be so preoccupied with getting so you can respond to God's giving. People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep yourself in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. Don't be afraid of missing out. You're my dearest friends! The Father wants to give you the very kingdom itself.” – Luke 12: 29-32

Good Friday

In the modern world we call today “Good Friday” but I can bet, 2000 years ago, this day was called anything but good.

Jesus Christ, who many of his followers thought was there to bring their nation back to peace and order and to set up his Kingdom right then, was crucified. He was hung on a cross (the common death sentence for murders, rapists, ect) and brutally beat, all because be “claimed” to be the King of Jews. He was killed for being himself, nothing more. Not only did they loose the hope that their nation would be restored to peace, but they lost their leader and their friend. Truly, there was nothing good about that day. 

Of course, this was all part of God’s plan. He knew that Jesus would be rejected by man, betrayed by man and eventually killed by man. But he sent his son regardless, because He had a mission – to save us. To unite us forever -- with Himself!

As a Christian, today weighs heavy on my heart. Today is the day that my sweet savior chose to die for me. To face a brutal death, so that I may live.

The rest of the story goes on to say that He did indeed rise again, on Easter Sunday, to conquer death and to unite us with our Heavenly Father in a way that was never possible before. He bridged the gap between heaven and earth and took our sins upon himself so we didn’t and don't have to bear them.

But today, just today, my heart is a little heavy. Today was the day that they lead my father, my best friend, my closest confidant, and my savior up the hill to the cross and today is the day he died…. for me.

“This is the kind of life you've been invited into, the kind of life Christ lived. He suffered everything that came his way so you would know that it could be done, and also know how to do it, step-by-step.

He never did one thing wrong,  Not once said anything amiss.

They called him every name in the book and he said nothing back. He suffered in silence, content to let God set things right. He used his servant body to carry our sins to the Cross so we could be rid of sin, free to live the right way. His wounds became your healing. You were lost sheep with no idea who you were or where you were going. Now you're named and kept for good by the Shepherd of your souls.”  – 1 Peter 2: 21-25

Making Jesus a Priority

I have to admit that I have not been reading my bible or spending quiet time with the Lord on a regular basis the past few months. I know, I know, shame on me! I don’t need anyone to remind me how important it is to make quiet time with the Lord a priority, because when I don’t, I feel it in every aspect of my life!

When life gets busy or hectic, it can be easy to let your time with the Lord slip to the back burner or become a low priority. However, I feel it is just as easy when life is quieter, when the pace of life has slowed down, and we find ourselves idly wasting time on whatever-else-is-out-there. This is where I am at right now. The past few months have had some hectic moments, but they have been filled with more free time than not and more time to spend with Jesus than other months allow.

What is it in us that pulls us towards TV, the internet, time with friends/family or reading rather than pulling us toward Jesus? I wish I knew the answer to this question. If I did, I would save myself a lot of wasted time, and could help you too! But I am at a loss...

Not only have I felt a bit of a disconnect in my relationship with the Lord lately, I have also been fighting a spirit of depression and of emptiness. I fight an internal struggle everyday to stay happy, positive and to accomplish the smallest of tasks. What makes this even harder? I am doing it alone. I have not been leaning on Jesus like I need to, so I really have been trying to fight all of this all on my own. What an udder waste of time! As if I can change anything I have been battling on my own. Only Jesus can heal my heart and fill me up.

Have you noticed that when your relationship with the Lord falls to the back burner everything else in your life seems harder, more disorganized, and getting through the day is a struggle? There is a reason for that! God is the one who holds our life together, and when we let go of the hand that is holding us together, we fall apart.

Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God. – Psalm 43:5

What I am realizing is that it will never be my nature to put down the book/turn off the TV and go into my room, open my bible and pray, until I make it a priority to do so everyday, and consciously make myself do it.

So, how does one make themselves keep a devotional time? Here are some ideas I am going to try:

1.)    Pick and time and set an alarm

Most all phones have alarm clocks in them. Pick a time of the day that works for you and set your alarm for this time. This will help you from getting distracted and forgetting about your quiet time

2.)    Have an accountability partner in your home

Do you have a roommate/spouse/child that you live with? Tell them that you would like to do your devotions every day at a certain time and ask them to help keep you accountable. Live alone? Ask a friend to text/call you everyday to keep you accountable.

3.)    Keep your bible on your pillow

Every morning, before you leave for the day, set your bible on your pillow. That way, if you forget to do your devotions during the day, it will be sitting there as a reminder before you lay down to sleep at night!

These are just a few ideas that will help keep me accountable. There are a lot of different ways that may work better for you!

There is such a peace in my life when I make God my first priority and right now, I miss that peace. God promises to walk through life with us, to help us, that we never have to fight through this world alone, and that’s a promise I want to take him up on! I know I can’t do life without him. I’m happiest when I’m closest to Jesus, so that’s where I am headed, closer to Him! Hope you will journey that way with me!

 “These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full." John 14: ¹¹

The Ultimate Super Dad

My husband and I are in the middle of Financial Peace University, by Dave Ramsey (more information on this amazing class here) and in this week’s lesson, Dave said something that really challenged my thinking and was really, wise!

Dave was talking about debt and some of the tops ways to get out of debt. On his list was “Prayer really works” when he was explaining this step, he said the following (or close to it, I don’t have a word for word quote)

What I’ve come to realize is that God really loves me. I’m made in his image and he loves me more than anything. And ya know what? He’s rich, like really rich. If you were in huge financial trouble, and your dad was a billionaire, you would go ask him for help. Well, your Father is richer than that. Ask him.

This got me thinking. What else don’t we take to the Lord in prayer? Are you having car troubles? Is your child(ren) misbehaving? Are you struggling in your marriage? Do you have a desire to get away on a vacation which you feel will never happen? Wanting to get pregnant and you cant?

Remember that God is the ultimate Auto Mechanic, the most super of all super nannies, the best marriage counselor available, the most renowned travel agent and finest fertility doctor the world has ever known. Feel free to insert your own struggle above, and I guarantee you that God is the best at fixing that too!

There is such a large disconnect in our lives when we don’t take our struggles, issues, hopes, dreams wishes, ect. to God. He is waiting up there to answer our prayers and to help us to live life to the fullest, we simply need to ask him.

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” – Matthew 7:7

A Year Ago.....

A year ago this Sunday, I stood in front of my closest friends and family and before God I dedicated the rest of my life to be spent with one man, my best friend, my husband.

Looking back on the past year, I am overwhelmed with emotion. Never did I think that I would be so happy, so well taken care of, so loved and so completely happy as I have been this past year. God truly brought me the best helpmate I could have ever asked for and I am so incredibly thankful for my husband every. single. day.

I’ve often heard it said that the first year of marriage is the hardest. This is the year you learn to compromise, you learn each other’s bad habits, you see each other for who you really are, not the “best foot forward” version that you met while you were dating.

While Michael and I definitely did experience all of these things, I have seen our first year of marriage quite differently. Rather than the hardest year, I think this year will be one of the sweetest. This year we learned what unconditional love is, we experienced the joy building a home together, we’ve learned to pray together and for each other, we’ve developed habits together, we’ve grown closer to the Lord as we’ve grown closer to each other and we have gained a full time live-in support system!  

I can truly say that marriage is everything I hope it would be, and so so much more! I honestly believe that marriage is one of the most wonderful gifts God ever gave to the human race and pray that each one of you experiences the sweetness of this gift in your life!

 ^12-14So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It's your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it.

^15-17Let the peace of Christ keep you in tune with each other, in step with each other. None of this going off and doing your own thing. And cultivate thankfulness. Let the Word of Christ—the Message—have the run of the house. Give it plenty of room in your lives. Instruct and direct one another using good common sense. And sing, sing your hearts out to God! Let every detail in your lives—words, actions, whatever—be done in the name of the Master, Jesus, thanking God the Father every step of the way.

- Colossians 3: 12-17

A Quick trip down memory lane! 

Our Whole Bridal Party

My Dad walking me down the aisle

Lighting the Unity Candle

Saying our vows!

Our first kiss as Dr. and Mrs. Michael Weir

Dr. and Mrs. Weir

Our whole Family - My brother, my Mom, us, my mother-in-law and my

Toasting at our Reception

God Always Provides: Our "New" Car

Before Mike and I were married, I had made the decision to lease a brand new car for 3 years. I worked at a car dealership at the time, and due to the environment I was in, I desired a new car, as I thought my old car said something about my social status.

As I have grown closer to the Lord and stronger in my faith, I have come to realize that that was a lie from the Master of lies himself. What kind of car I drive says nothing about who I truly am, a child of King of the universe, one of God’s most beloved children! My social status doesn't matter at all to God and it shouldn't matter to me either!

As Mike and I headed towards marriage, we made it our main goal to get out of and stay out of all debt (minus a mortgage some day). We knew we had to keep making car payments on my leased vehicle until April of this year, and then after that day, we would have the opportunity to either buy another car and take a loan on that car, or try and pay cash for a car. We both decided our goal was to pay cash for a car,  to be able to rid ourselves of interest and loan payments.

As the time has drawn nearer to purchase a new car, we both sought the Lord on what we should be looking for and how much we should spend. Here are the requirements we came up with:

• It needed to have 4 doors
• It needed to get good gas mileage
• It needed to be a safe car
• It needed to have under 100,000 miles
• It needed to be newer than 2000
• It needed to cost less that $5,000.00

While we were able to save more than $5,000 toward the purchase of a new car, we felt that the Lord would provide a car within that budget, which would allow us to put the additional money towards our saving for a down payment for a house.

I diligently searched for a car for weeks upon weeks. We test drove multiple cars and after about the second month, I was feeling a bit discouraged.  Every car was either a rebuilt title, didn't meet one or more of our requirements, or was in bad shape.

I decided to take our list before the Lord again. I wanted to make sure that we had heard right the first time, that we didn’t need to change any of our requirements or up our budget. I didn’t feel any stirring in my heart to make any changes to our requirements, in fact, I felt even stronger that the Lord would provide a car within our means, we just hadn’t found it yet.

I am happy to report today that this week, we bought our very first car together! God provided us a 2001 Ford Taurus with 76,000 miles. It gets great gas mileage, has 4 doors, is very safe and meets every single one of our prayed over requirements! It costs us UNDER $5,000 and our auto technician said the engine and the transmission are in like new condition!

Is there something that you need that you feel the Lord has given you guidelines for? It could be a something material, a relationship you are looking for or something emotional. Don’t comprise! God WILL provide what you need in his perfect timing! It may take a lot of faith, and a lot of patience, but if God has stirred your heart towards something specific, stay the course and let him lead you to his perfect "thing" for your life! 

¹⁰"For everyone who asks, receives; and he who seeks, finds; and to him who knocks, it will be opened.  ¹¹Now suppose one of you fathers is asked by his son for a fish; he will not give him a snake instead of a fish, will he? ¹²Or if he is asked for an egg, he will not give him a scorpion, will he?

 ¹³"If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him?" 

Luke 11: 10-13

Purpose in The Storm

What do you have to be thankful for?

Do you have a healthy family? Are you in a place financially where you can make ends meet every month? Do you have a place to call your home? Do you have a working car (or two)? People in your life whom you can lean on? A healthy marriage?

When you really think about it, we all have an incredible amount of things to be thankful for. We all have a 100+ reasons to be grateful, joyful, and to praise the Lord every single day.

But despite all our blessings, we are still forced to fight through some storms. We all struggle through some really hard times. Whether it be financial woes, health issues, addiction struggles, weariness, stress or one of the hundreds of other things that plague us, It seems that there is a dark cloud hovering over God’s people, and it’s hard. Draining almost.  

                                                                                                        

If you are like me, your heart feels heavy…almost everyday. You feel broken, worn out and incapable. Some days I feel like we have had to struggle through so much, it’s almost not fair. Are you wondering why God hasn’t stepped in and parted the clouds? You are not alone!

I was driving home from work a few days ago, and a familiar song came on the radio, a song by Casting Crowns called “Praise You in This Storm”. I have heard this song about a million and two times, and am so tired of it that I usually change the radio station when it comes on. However, this time, God really prompted me to listen to the words and to what this song says.

Here are the lyrics:

I was sure by now, God, that You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it's still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.

Chorus:
And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

This song serves as a great reminder of two very important facts:

1. God never promised that we not have to traverse life’s storms
2. God absolutely promise that we WOULD have to tackle life’s storms – but we do not tackle them alone.

As I have been struggling with the thought of hardship and heartache that we face in the world, I was greatly encouraged by the following devotional from Streams in the Desert that I read just a few nights ago

“My Child, I have a message for you today. Let me whisper it in your ear… It is only four words, but let them sink into your inner being and use them as a pillow to rest your weary head ‘This is my doing’”

“Have you ever realized that whatever concerns you concerns Me too? For whoever touches you touches the apple of my eye" 

(Zech. 2:8)

Are you in difficult circumstances surrounded by people who do not understand you, never ask your opinion and always push you aside? “This is my doing” I am the God of circumstances. You did not come to this place by accident—you are exactly where I meant for you to be.

Have you not asked Me to make you humble? Then see that I have placed you in the perfect school where this lesson is taught.

            Are you having problems with money, finding it hard to make ends meet? “This is my doing” for I am the one who keeps your finances, and I want you to learn to depend upon Me. My supply is limitless and I “will meet all your needs” I want you to provide my promises so that no one may say “You did not trust in the Lord your God.”

            Are you experiencing a time of sorrow? “This is my doing” I am “a man of sorrows and familiar with suffering” I have allowed your earthly comforters to fail you, so that by turning to me you may receive “eternal encouragement and good hope” Have you longed to do some great work for Me but instead ave been set aside on a bed of sickness and pain? “This is my doing” You were so busy I could not get your attention, and I wanted to teach you some of my deepest truths.

We cannot see what loss, sorrow and trials are accomplishing. We only need to do one thing: Trust in God. He will come and take our hand and lead us on our way.

It is in the storms of life that God equips us for service. When God wants an Oak tree, he plants it where the storms will shake it and the rains will beat down upon it. It is in that battle where the oak tree becomes the king of the forest. No one is complete until he has been out in the surge of the storm and has found the glorious fulfillment of the prayer “O God, take me, break me, make me”

You have been in the storms and swept by the winds. Have they left you broken, weary and beaten? Or have they lifted you to the sunlit summits of a richer, deeper, more abiding life?

The Importance of Friendship

“As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” Proverbs 27:17 NIV

When I said my vows to my husband, I vowed from that day forward to put him as the priority in my life, above everyone else (besides my relationship with the Lord).

As a newly married woman I have definitely struggled with the concept of maintaining and balancing friendships while cultivating my relationship with my husband and building our life together.

I am so blessed to have had the same best friend for 20 years. Since 2^nd grade, Jessica and I have been inseparable. We were together every weekend in Jr. High, went to camps together, church together, went on vacations with each others families, double-dated to prom together, and when we were old enough to move out, we lived together. In fact we lived together up until I moved out to marry my husband. Yes, we have been through just about everything together.

Jessica and I

I'm sure that I am not the only one with a best friend who has been there through it all. In fact, I pray that all of you have someone who is there for you through thick and thin, unwavering.

The challenge in my heart lately has been maintaining close friendships while balancing my time with my husband and my family.

I have definitely been struggling to find a good balance between time at home and time in fellowship with friends. I know that one of the things the Lord laid on my heart was to be a better hostess (you can see my goals lists here) and I know I have been slacking on inviting friends and family into my home.

The purpose of this post, more than to just vent what's going on in my heart, is to encourage you all to make sure you keep your friends as a high priority in your life and to offer some simple ways to connect with them. 

It is so easy to get caught up in home/work life, especially if you have children. Its easy to think that you are too busy to cultivate relationships, and that they can be pushed to the side. While I do believe that God’s plan for our lives is to put our marriages/families before all other human relationships, I also strongly believe that Christian fellowship is vitally important to maintaining a healthy lifestyle, a strong relationship with Jesus and to your overall happiness.

Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed. Proverbs 15:22 NIV

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work; If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 NIV

A bunch of my girlfriends at an engagement party

Simple ways to keep in touch with friends:

• Plan lunch dates.

Most of us have an hour lunch break, or are at home during the day with our little ones. If you have friends who work close by, schedule a lunch date with them

• Email back and forth throughout the day

If you are in the corporate world, you probably spend most of your day in front of a computer, utilize that to your benefit: shoot your friend(s) a quick email, ask them about their day, ect.

•     Plan ahead

It may be that some of you are genuinely packed to the brim on your schedule and don’t have time for impromptu “girls nights”. Set a date, even if it is a month out, and put it on the calendar. Don’t schedule anything else at that time. Make it a priority to keep that date.

•     Start a monthly/weekly “activity” night

A great way to keep in touch with a group of friends is to schedule a game night, such a Bunco, or a cooking night, a scrapbooking night, knitting, a weekly bible study. You know what best speaks to the ladies in your life, this is a great way to grow in a skill as well in fellowship with your friends.

•     Keep in touch via text messaging, Facebook, instant messaging social media

With all the instant ways to keep in touch with friends, consider sending regular Facebook notes, text messages, get on a instant messaging site. This is a great way to stay involved in each other’s lives.

•     Make a larger dinner and invite a friend over to share dinner with your family

I find evenings hardest to get together with friends, as I know I need to feed my family and that I probably have laundry to do, dishes to put away, chores to be done, ect. Try inviting a friend over to just spend the evening with you and your family. Make a larger portion of dinner and plan to incorporate a friend in your home life.

•     Exercise together

Join a gym together and take a aerobic class together, join a dance class, jog together, ride bikes or hike together.

•     Pray together and for each other

Nothing strengthens a friendship like prayer. “For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.” Matthew 18:20. I encourage you to reach out to your friends and ask how you can pray for them. And then follow up on the request. Ask them how things are going and adjust your prayers as God begins to work in their situation.

There are so many ways to keep your friends involved in your life, and stay involved with theirs. I pray that you find some encouragement in the list above and that you and I both begin to cherish our friendships as the precious gifts that they are!

My other best friends, Natalie and Brandi

Beautiful Little Life

This is Kyan, my dear friend's sweet baby boy

I seem to be surrounded by pregnant women right now, as I’m sure a lot of you are as well! What a wonderful thing to be able to say!

I have at least 5 pregnant friends, and most importantly my only sibling, my big brother, is having his first baby (well he’s not having the baby). This means that I’m going to be an AUNT! I am so excited for our family! The first baby, what a tremendous joy! 

Here I am with my brother’s fiancé, Kim and her sweet belly (that’s my little niece in there!)

“A new baby is like the beginning of all things - wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities.”

If you are anything like me, your heart of hearts yearns to be a mother. Maybe not right now, but it is one of your very deep desires.  Although my husband and I are not yet ready to have children, every time I hear that someone is pregnant, I feel a twinge of pain, of jealousy. This is not at all a reflection of my feelings for my friends, I couldn’t be more excited or imagine a better blessing for my dear friends, however it reminds me that they are getting a precious gift that I am not able to receive yet.

Maybe you are like me, wanting to have children, but the Lord hasn’t give you the green light. Maybe you find yourself struggling to be able to conceive a child; maybe you are still single and are waiting on the husband to come along first. Whatever your circumstance, I just want to remind you of this one small thing:

“From one man he made all the nations, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he marked out their appointed times in history and the boundaries of their lands.” Acts 17:26

Yes, God knows RIGHT where you are right now, and has you there for a reason! God knows your desires and he will always provide the best for you in his perfect timing. Rest in the knowledge that Jesus is right beside you and is holding your hand through this journey.

If you are reading this and are the blessed mommy of your very own children, I pray you remember how highly God values Moms and how VERY lucky you are to have the little ones you do!

“A baby will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bankroll smaller, home happier, clothes shabbier, the past forgotten, and the future worth living for”

Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! – Psalms 127: 3-4

Learning to extend GRACE

I don’t know about you, but I struggle with the concept of grace. The Definition of Grace?

“A favor rendered by one who need not do so; indulgence.”

Hmm… yep, definitely not good at that!

When someone cuts you off on the freeway or swoops into the parking spot you had been waiting for, or insults someone or something you strongly believe in, how to you react? My first thought? “strike back, show them how wrong they are” Maybe that means tail-gating them, or going around them and cutting them off, or giving them a dirty look in the store, or turning around and insulting something they believe in. -- That all sounds very childish when written out, doesn’t it? It sounds like something I would have done in elementary school; yet these are still the first thoughts to cross my mind when people “wrong” me today.

How do we go about changing this heart issue? It’s clear that the reactions above do not clearly represent the loving nature of Christ, which we are to reflect.

“This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”

– Romans 22-24

 Here are a few things that I have been trying lately to help address these issues within my own heart.

• Wait 5 seconds before you respond to anything – I’ve found that after about 5 seconds, my initial “fight or flight” instinct is gone and I can rationally think about what happened, and if it’s worth having a nasty reaction over. This may be 10 or 20 seconds for you. Find what works best.
  
  
• Ask yourself “What if it was actually JESUS in that car, person, ect?” – I have started doing this in traffic especially. How would I treat that car or person if it was Jesus driving beside me or standing in front of me? This has literally changed the way I drive and respond to people.
  
  
• Pray – After I have stopped, then asked myself “What if that was Jesus?”, the very next thing I do is pray. I pray that the Lord would either give me the words to speak to the person I am talking to, or I pray over the person in the car in front of me. This is usually a very quick “Lord, lead me” or “Lord, bless them” kind of prayer. Not only does it bless the other person, it gives a very tangible peace to my heart.

While striking back may feel good for about 10 seconds before the regret and embarrassment kicks in, responding with grace and humility provides an opportunity to feel the presence of God around you, to sit in His perfect peace and know that you responded the best way you know how.

Do you have any tips on how you respond with grace to people or situations in your life? I would love additional tips and ideas, as I’m still learning and growing in this!

"But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and forever! Amen."

-2 Peter 3:18

Thinking Globally this Christmas Season

I cannot believe that it is December already! How did that even happen? I swear that just yesterday I was planning and anxiously waiting for my wedding day! Now, 10 months after our wedding here we are with Christmas sneaking up on us again!

 I just got done typing up our year end letters, and our Christmas card should (hopefully) be in the mail this weekend! Its so exciting to have our very first Christmas tree up in our apartment and to come home to a red and green apartment everyday. I'm sure most of you will agree that Christmas really IS the best time of the year!

While this is the time of year that so many of us worry about what to buy, what we've having for Christmas dinner, who's stocking we're going to stuff and what we are going to wear to that Christmas party, there are millions of people around the world who don't have any clean water, food, Christmas presents, or reason to celebrate.

My dad worked for World Concern for 10 years. "World Concern provides life, opportunity and hope to suffering people around the world through disaster response and development programs. Motivated by our love of Christ, we bring hope and reconciliation to those we serve, so they may in turn share with others." During the Christmas season, World Concern puts out a Global Gift Guide. These gifts includes chickens, goats, sponsorship of a child to go to school, clean water, ect. You can purchase these gifts through World Concern and they will be given to a family in a third world country! These gifts can literally change a family's life.

I encourage you to check out their website for gift ideas!

Last year, my family decided to purchase gifts out of this catalog, rather than buy each other presents. I got a "goat" from my dad! It is so rewarding to know you are helping some one in such a life changing way.

Another non-profit organzation that I fully support is Charity:Water. Charity:water is a non-profit organization bringing clean and safe drinking water to people in developing nations. 100% of public donations directly fund water projects. Almost a billion people on the planet don’t have access to clean drinking water. Unsafe water and a lack of basic sanitation cause 80% of all disease and kill more people than all forms of violence, including war. We're working to change that.

They have gifts you can purchase as stocking stuffers, or you can donate. What a great way to spread the love of the Lord to the world.

Do you have any charities that you support? I'd love to hear about them!